I'm going where now?

I was just reading over my last (endlesly long and boring) post, correcting the odd spelling and subject/verb agreement problem, and I noticed that I'd just tossed off a little comment about having to spend the last weekend in July in Tennessee, at J's family reunion.
Can we talk for a minute about the amount that I do not want to be going to this thing?
First, it's in Tennessee. Why would anyone voluntarily go to Tennessee? I think it's going to be ungodly hot there. I am quite sure there's nothing to do there, although - it's not like we're going to be there for any longer than the reunion itself. We won't have lots of down time to spend soaking up the local culture. You know, if there were any.
I know that's very snobbish of me, but tough shit. I am not one of these people who can't enjoy myself anywhere but New York. I can function outside of cities. I love, for instance, Stevens Point, Wisconsin, and would gladly spend a week or more there at any time of the year, including the really cold parts.
I am dying to go to Austin, Texas. I can be persuaded to go to Richmond, which is also in the South. Once I went to a wedding in Alabama, but I kind of felt the same about that trip as I do about this Tennessee one. At least this time I don't have to wear a hideous tafetta dress.
I don't have any desire to go to Knoxville.
I'm kind of terrified to meet Jason's family, too. I think they will hate me. I think they are going to think I'm some sort of sex criminal because of how much older I am, I think they're going think I'm some big-city snob, or some pretentious intellectual, and if they find out I'm Jewish, I am pretty sure they will set me on fire. I think they will find the fact that I have a tattoo on my ankle that's in Elvish to be utterly baffling. To be fair, many, many people find this baffling. Explaining it can be exhausting, Perhaps I can think of a lie ("It doesn't mean anything, it's just a pretty design") or maybe I can wear socks the whole time.
I know I'm being a terrific snob about the family. It's a defense mechanism, you know. Jason's mom loves me. She loves me so much that she almost cried when he told her that because we're both pretty broke, he was thinking of coming alone. She actually DID cry when I told her that I was coming. She offered to help pay for my ticket, and believe me, she can't afford to do that. She's a lovely, loving woman, and she's the only reason I'm going at all. Well, I guess Jason wants me to be there and meet his family, that's the another reason.
I said something to my shrink like, "I guess this really isn't the behavior of a man who's desperately looking for a way out of a relationship." Which, you know, I was joking, but not entirely. Part of me still can't figure out why someone like Jason wants to be with me. I don't think I'm good enough for him.
I think this is leftover lack of self-esteem from Rob, so thanks, buddy.

The reunion could not be more poorly timed. It's a whole other weekend that we could have used to move. But we'll work that out. It will be okay. It has to be okay, as we've bought our tickets already.
So I'm going to stop worrying about his family hating me, stop wishing I could drop ten pounds in the next two weeks, and go.
One thing I can't stop doing, though, is feeling terribly guilty about the fact that I haven't been down to see my dad in like two months. It will be at least the middle of August before I can get down there, and I'm not telling my parents that I'm going to this reunion, because they're pissed off already that I'm not flying down to Richmond every weekend. Okay, that's not fair, but I should have gone down there before now, and now that I have to move and go to this thing, it's too late.
There's nothing I can do about any of this, except make the best of it all, make the place in Brooklyn into a home for both of us, start paying off my bills, and get down to see my parents as soon as I can. Well, I can whine about it here.

I think my old blog was MUCH more interesting and entertaining than this one, I hope something amusing or interesting or GOOD happens to me soon, so I can write something that won't be torture to read.
I'll try to take notes on the reunion, surely something funny will happen there.

Oh, another thing? I asked Jason if his family are drinkers, and he said not really. Shit. A few cocktails makes every family gathering easier to take. I don't want to be the drunk girlfriend, either, so I guess I'm going to have to try and be charming without. Shit. Maybe a flask is the way to go on this one.
Say what you like about my family, at least when we get together we're all pleasantly buzzed most of the time.