I had lunch today one table over from Jimmy Fallon. I still think his movies kind of suck (I have only seen one, and that was kind of by accident, but it definitely sucked) and I don't like him much, but now I know why he is famous.
It is because he is almost frighteningly good looking in person. Seriously. It does not translate to the screen in any way. I could not stop staring at him.
Also, Jason went to high school with him, but sadly wasn't with me at lunch, so I didn't get introduced, which is probably just as well, as I might have tried to lick his face or something.

For some reason, and maybe you already know this, but for some reason I love Wisconsin. I have been there a few times, mostly for work, but also a couple times to visit Krista, and I just love it there, beyond all reason. If I had to live in the midwest, I would live in Madison (which is really just like Woodstock in almost every way, only I think Madison has more head shops per capita, and decidedly fewer trees and zero mountains, so in fact it's almost nothing like Woodstock).
What has to be a disproportionate number of my friends are people who are originally from Wisconsin or still actually live there. I fucking love Wisconsin. I even love the word.
So back on point, sort of, I was just telling my friend Michael (famous original Michael, the only one of at least ten Michaels that doesn't get a modifier in front of his name) how much I love Wisconsin, which is where he is from, and he told me that was really very sad.
And then he read me his daughter's sixth-grade earth science homework, and when she stepped away, told me that she's a total moron. I love him so much.

BUT, the whole point I was ACTUALLY getting ready to make is that I have had the song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" in my head for several days, and it's not going away.
I have this theory I've come up with, that everyone over the age of 36 knows all the words, and anyone under that age has simply never heard the song at all. And it has, as I said, been running through my head for several days for reasons that I probably won't go into, because, intensely boring.
But also because Wisconsin is mentioned in the song, twice if you know that "Whitefish Bay" is actually in Wisconsin (although: update: the W. Bay mentioned in the song is apparently in Michigan, but lalalala I can't hear you), which I do, because Famous Original Michael is actually from there.
It's a very 70s tune, dude, by Gordon Lightfoot, and if you DO know it, I apologize because now it is stuck in your head too.
It's about a shipwreck that I (fairly) recently discovered was not some sort of historical event, but actually took place like three months before the song came out. I think I have known that for several years, but I definitely grew up thinking otherwise.

So anyway, my theory is as above, and I am getting ALL KINDS of evidence that seems to indicate that this is correct, via email from my confused friends. I feel like a total scientist right now. I think I will probably get a grant, or a Fullbright (unless those are the same thing) or at least a decent powerpoint presentation out of this. Or maybe only a nice fan letter to Gordon Lightfoot, unless he is dead. In which case, nothing.

Well, the satisfaction of a job well done.